0402
I know that in my homepage description, I said that I made the website out of boredom & that there was
nothing more to it, but mayyybe there actually IS more to it ! Shocking News !!!
Human beings usually have
motives behind their actions & don't do things for no reason !!!!!!
But anyway, I was bored for sure. You've probably read all those manifestos where webmasters passionately tell you they've ditched social media because it killed their grandma or something. And I can relate to that in a way. When your own reality consists of a doomed life, social media isn't the right refuge. And I don't think it'll bring happiness to anybody with the way things are going right now, whether you're a mentally sane person with a successful life or a psych ward patient who probably has a kill count.
Not to get hashtag personal on here since I normally dislike sharing negative details of my life to a bunch of strangers, but I've reached a point where I just can't gaf anymore ! The past months have only been daily to weekly trips to the ER & hospital appointments. Many times with up to 4 appointments in a single day. And it's STILL ongoing !!!!! And when I don't have an appointment, I answer a bunch of phone calls from doctors that I can't remember ever talking to, but I pretend to know them anyway !!!!!!!!!
Well, that's only a very small snippet of what I'd call "my life". I'm not gonna share the crazy details that would make y'all question how I never resorted to terrorism or some shit. If I could describe my world in a single word, it would be *****. And any normal person would want to run away from that ! Unless you're one of those people who enjoy going through the horrors. That's odd. But hey, I shouldn't judge. Some would choose to kill themselves (not a very good idea tbh), others would seek anything to make their life more bearable & stimulating. Like the Internet, for example. And if you're a social person at heart, then social media sounds great ! NOT !!!
The Internet shouldn't be scary, but it is for many. The problems we encounter in real life are easier to replicate in the realm of social media. And on top of that, brand new problems (many that shouldn't even BE a problem in the first place) are being made that are exclusive to the online world !!! And it stays forever, nobody's gonna forget the stupid shit you said when you were 15. (I'm not talking about saying slurs & being bigoted, obviously. I'm talking about stuff like this) And if they do forget, then someone can easily dig it up & nag you about it ! Awesome !
Not to mention that nowadays, most people use "social media" & "the internet" as synonyms, when there's so much more to the world wide web. Honestly, I blame it more on the death of Flash games & stupid loitering laws where people can't even hang out outside without spending money. Instead of going on FRIV or chilling in a store in the afternoon, people are glued to their screens & endlessly scrolling on tiktok watching the most braindead content imaginable. It's like if baby sensory videos were evil & stupid or some shit.
Bluntly speaking, what we know of the Internet today is Not what I'd call good at all. It sucks balls. It wasn't good back then either, but it got worse ! I'm all for novelty & tech advancement, but obviously only when it comes to POSITIVE changes. I wasn't there during the peak of geocities/the static web (& thank god for that) but the idea of having your own personalized little corner where you host whatever you want with limited user interaction sounds way too appealing now. So I don't blame people who feel nostalgic. I grew up during the era of custom tumblr themes & site builders like wordpress, so I'm less familiar with geocities despite often browsing old websites in the wayback machine. But I've always been drawn to the aesthetics of the old web ... it just feels raw, yknow. There was still corporate shit back then, but it wasn't taking over every single corner of the web like today.
So yeah, all this to say that I'm just as tired as everyone else when it comes to socmed. Unfortunately I enjoy talking with people too much & it's a tiny bit more difficult when you mostly offer a guestbook & a clap button as forms of human interaction. But I'd rather have that than having ai slop shoved in my face or getting doxxed over some heated anime discourse lol. So I don't regret my choice ! I actually created the neocities account in 2022, but I wasn't sure what to do with it, so it's only now that I started working on it after knowing what I truly needed. Plus I felt kinda bad doing nothing with such a good url lol. But anyway, I got nothing more to say. So far I'm having fun & I'm very grateful for all the new people I've met here. Everyone expresses themselves in such a unique way, I love it ! I hope to see even more of that from now on :^) Peace !!! ☆
0331
I'm tired today, but I'm alive !!! Yesterday I ended up rambling about Ace Attorney with my little sister until 1am (￣□￣|||) (it was fun) & instead of going to sleep after that like a normal person, I thought "man, I haven't read Ichigo Mashimaro since 5th grade" so I Had to change that.
Since I didn't really feel like showing up at the library at 1 in the morning, I read it online. I tried reading it in English but I somehow Couldn't stand it, so I read the French translation instead (they named it « Les Petites Fraises » in the FR translation for some reason. I find it cute) I don't know if it's just nostalgia bias or the English translation being poor, but it was way more enjoyable for me to read it in French. Which is honestly crazy because normally I'd never Choose to read something in French lmao
I'm only at the 2nd volume of the reread & honestly ... it's not so bad. Yknow how sometimes you get really nostalgic for a show & when you rewatch it when you're older, you're like "damn This kinda sucks". Basically, media that's only good if you're 10 years old or if you're stoned. I was kinda worried that it would happen with Ichigo Mashimaro but it didn't !!! So I'm glad !!!!! (there were still some scenes that made me raise an eyebrow but yknow how things typically go in manga & anime in general lol. Luckily it was easy for me to look over it since the series doesn't really have a plot !)
Something I noticed is how different the characters looked in the first few chapters. Nobué had long blonde hair & Miu had black hair. Tbh Nobué looked really cute with blonde hair but I love the short brown hair in the final design, it makes her look more like an older sister (the art style doesn't help lmao but she looked too young with blonde hair imo) Miu's light brown hair in the final design is cute too, but I prefer her with black hair & pigtails ... honestly as long as she has pigtails then I'm cool with it.
But yeah, so far I like reading it ! The art is really good too. I love how the mangaka draws clothing especially. It inspires me to draw ... I really need to start drawing again !!!!! I will draw soon. I have vague ideas, but I'm still in an art block phase. And physically exhausted too. Actually if you're reading this, you can mayyybe request something I could draw (well it has to be mobpsy related tho) I can't guarantee that I'll draw it cos I prefer drawing what I want, but hey you can still try ! But anyway I'll just take it easy for now. There are still a lot of things I wanna add to my site, so I'll work on that too. See ya ( ´ ω ` )ノﾞ ☆☆☆ yknow, it's fun writing using kaomoji. Been doing it cos I don't have emojis on a computer, so it's a good alternative !!! Yay for emotional expression !!!!! ( ´ ▽ ` )